Doon Mackichan: Good Omens (TV), Happy New Year Colin Burstead, Plebs (TV), Toast of London (TV), Draw On Sweet Night, The Comic Strip Presents…(TV), Smack The Pony (TV), Brass Eye (TV), Stressed Eric (voice)(TV), Our Mutual Friend (TV), The Borrowers (1997)
Ian Puleston-Davies: Tin Star (TV), Marcella (TV), Coronation Street (TV), Waterloo Road (TV), Awaydays, Revolver, The Virgin Of Liverpool, Hollyoaks (TV)
Adele Excharchpoulos: Racer & The Jailbird, Blue Is The Warmest Colour
Ralph Fiennes: Kingsman 3 – The Great Game, The Voyage of Doctor Dolittle (voice), The LEGO Movie 2 – The Second Part (voice), Holmes and Watson, The LEGO Batman Movie (voice), Kubo and the Two Strings (voice), Two Women, A Bigger Splash, Hail Caesar, James Bond – Spectre, The Invisible Woman (dir), The Grand Budapest Hotel, Great Expectations (2012), James Bond – Skyfall, Wrath Of The Titans, Cemetery Junction, Clash Of The Titans (2010), Harry Potter 8 – The Deathly Hallows 2, Harry Potter 7 – The Deathly Hallows 1, Nanny McPhee 2 – Nanny McPhee Returns, The Reader, The Hurt Locker, The Duchess, In Bruges, Harry Potter 5 – The Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter 4 – The Goblet of Fire, The Constant Gardener, Chromophobia, Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of The Were Rabbit (voice), Maid In Manhattan, Red Dragon, Spider, The End Of The Affair, Onegin, The Avengers (1998), Oscar & Lucinda, The English Patient, Strange Days, Quiz Show, Schindler’s List, The Baby Of Macon, Wuthering Heights (1992)
Director: Andy de Emmony (Dave Allen at Peace / Lucky Man (TV) / Love Bite / West is West)
Cast: Ben Chaplin, Julian Rhind-Tutt, Michael Palin, Steve Oram, Ben Daniels, Josh O’Connor, Hugh Skinner, Jarrod Cooke with Emilia Fox and Patrick FitzSymons
Ben Chaplin:The Children Act, Snowden, The Legend of Tarzan, Cinderella (2015), Twixt, London Boulevard, Dorian Gray, Chromophobia, Birthday Girl, Murder By Numbers, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, The Thin Red Line, Washington Square, Lost Souls, Feast Of July, Game On (TV), The Remains Of The Day
Julian Rhind-Tutt: Dave Allen at Peace, Rizen 2, Chubby Funny, The Rizen, Burn Burn Burn, Bridget Jones 3, Aaaaaaaah!, Castles In The Sky, Banished (TV), A Touch of Cloth (TV), Lucy, Inside No.9 (TV), Rush (2013), Gambit (2012), Your Highness, Stardust, Green Wing (TV), To Kill a King, Miranda, Lara Croft -Tomb Raider, The Trench, Notting Hill
Michael Palin: Vanity Fair (2018)(TV), Death of Stalin, Absolutely Anything (voice), Remember Me (TV), The Klangers (narrator) (TV), Monty Python Live – Five Down One To Go, A Liar’s Autobiography (voice), Arthur Christmas (voice), Michael Palin’s Explores (TV), The Wipers Times, Fierce Creatures, The Wind In The Willows (1996), GBH (TV), American Friends, A Fish Called Wanda, Brazil, A Private Function, The Meaning Of Life, The Missionary, Time Bandits, Life Of Brian, The Rutles, Jabberwocky, Monty Python and The Holy Grail, Monty Python’s Flying Circus (TV)
Ben Daniels: The Exception, Star Wars – Rogue One, Luna, Locke (voice), House of Cards (TV), Jack The Giant Slayer, Law & Order UK (TV), Doom, Fanny and Elvis, Madeline, I Want You, Passion In The Desert, Beautiful Thing
Emilia Fox: Home from Home (TV), Mum’s List, The Carer, Silent Witness (TV), Trap For Cinderella, A Thousand Kisses Deep, Suspension of Disbelief, Merlin (TV), Dorian Gray, Flashbacks of a Fool, Cashback, Keeping Mum, Life and Death of Peter Sellers, The Pianist, Randall & Hopkirk Deceased (TV), Pride and Prejudice (TV)
Patrick FitzSymons: Vanity Fair (2018)(TV), Line of Duty (TV)
Cast: Matt Hookings, Michael McKell, Ian Pirie, Justin McDonald, Hannah Waddingham, Olwen Catherine Kelly, Ella Road, Liana Harris, Noeleen Comiskey, Martin Ross and Alan Ford
This could serve well as a good TV pilot for a series with its hints at compelling characters and a superb location, except Winter Ridge is generally scuppered by a lack of plot originality and a wildly inconsistent cast, that range from industry pros to village hall WI level drama clubbers. With enough good points to recommend this (with reservations) the makers, have at least made a bold attempt to make something serious, handsomely mounted and a finished product that quietly impresses in many important departments.
Barnes (MATT HOOKINGS – ESSEX VENDETTA) is a North Devon detective in Blackrock (a thinly disguised Lynmouth and Lynton at the edge of Exmoor); whose wife has been put into a coma by a repeat drunk driver, Evans (IAN PIRIE – THE LAST PHOTOGRAPH). Whilst keeping it hanging together; he sets about proving the existence of a local serial killer that is mercy killing geriatrics with dementia. So far so knotty and intriguing except there’s actually very little detecting going on, or intelligence at work when the detectives work on hunches or use grudges as excuses to interrogate the community. With so little to go on to begin with, the suspect could be anybody, but a non-sequiteur halfway in really holds/hides the key to the mystery and done subtley it would have been missed (and an excellent twist that says much about our understanding about ‘film’ serial killers) but in Winter Ridge its as plain as Kim Kardashian’s Big Ole Butt tm. Also with a few other ridiculous points of plot throw into the game, a decently wrought thriller is a bust. Mind you, there’s a very good jump scare at one point so, all is not lost.
Sharp editing, atmospheric cinematography, moody and brilliant locations (including the superb Valley of the Rocks), smart stunt driving, effective drone photography, and an excellent soundtrack put this ahead of the majority of few competing films in the no-budget leagues. Michael McKell (DOCTORS) puts in a superb performance as the senior detective and elsewhere Ian Pirie and Alan Ford (THE SQUEEZE) show the am-dram supporting cast how to do it. Many of the smaller roles are populated by a procession of unknowns who are all arched eyebrows and slowly delivered lines as if they are orated to a half-deaf Village Parish Council – they would be better suited to waiting for the Pink Windmill Show gets a reboot. This breaks the concentration in a film which ends up being a kebab of some excellent scenes and scenes which just don’t work at all, and a lot of the bad ones are near the beginning too.
Unfortunately, Winter Ridge is one of those thrillers that contains a villain kind enough to explain their masterplan to the detective at the moment of discovery. It’s all a bit daft at the end but at least there’s a lot of heart and care gone into making this look, sound and feel good. I will look out for director Dom Lenoir’s next film on the basis of his good / promising work here.
3 out of 10 – A better supporting cast and a tighter plot and script would have made this thriller more interesting and thrilling. However, what we have instead is a good looking TV pilot in need of a few more quid to have got it over the line into the pro-leagues. Hardworking, watchable but ultimately hobbled where it counts. A gory Midsummer Murders without a snoozing John Nettles, if you like.
Hannah Waddingham: The Hustle, Sex Education (TV), The Gatehouse, 12 Monkeys (TV), Game of Thrones (TV), Benidorm (TV), How To Lose Friends and Alienate People
Cast: Cristian Solimeno, Kacey Barnfield, Brian Croucher, Gary Grant, Amrita Acharia, Finn Corney, O’Ar Pali, Eke Chukwu, Christopher Rithin, Terry Sweeney, Jack Ashton, Danny Howard, Jon Campling, Darren Ripley, Monty Burgess, Lara Heller, Nigel Billing, Chris Bell with Lili Bordan, Stephen Marcus and Richard Blackwood
Cast: Stephen Graham, Dave Johns, Steve Furst, Julian Sands, Jill Halfpenny, Neil Fitzmaurice, Michael Socha, Robbie Gee, Stephen Marcus, Lindsey Coulson, Sue Johnston, Hannah Walters, Brian McCardie, Guz Khan, Scroobius Pip, Adam Fogerty, Rob Parker, Rita May and Christopher Fairbank with Jason Flemyng, Lena Headey and Stephen Tompkinson
Walk Like a Panther was severely daft. Daft as a multi-coloured toilet brush. When I described some of the extremely lame jokes in this to my wife and a visiting pal they thought it sounded really funny. And that’s the problem, it could have been hilarious but this is what happens when the cast turn up for a film without their comic timing mojo. Potentially wonderful gags fall flat down to cack delivery, off editing and the sad realisation that none of the energy being expended transfers over to the viewer’s experience. It looks like the cast have had a whale of a time, and the proof of this, if you look into the film’s production history is that this film is director Dan Cadan’s second attempt at getting this idea to the public. In 2011, a TV pilot was made with many of the same cast, so in that respect, it looks like Walk With a Panther was something of a passion project for some of the actors.
It tells the very basic story of a groupof ex-wrestlers from the 1980s who band together to save their pub from an evil property developer played by Stephen Tompkinson (DROP THE DEAD DONKEY). To raise the funds a dodgy promoter, Popsy (STEVE FURST – DISOBEDIANCE) puts the band back together again. We’ve been here before – who remembers The Full Monty, Up and Under, or The Match. Stuff like this can be scripted and written by four year olds and it looks like this one was. Skin deep characterisation, easily conquered plot-obstacles and some really cack jokes leave the cast looking supremely daft. But it looks like they don’t care, they are having too much fun. And that’s the thing, this looks like the spirited cast really enjoyed making this one and it was as much about them having a silly half-hour as much as anything else. The energy and fun hits their side of the camera lense and does a ‘Marcel Marceau in a box routine’… It’s trapped.
Very lame and old hat, but its one you will feel bad for hating. One to watch with your parents and old wrestling fans if you are really, really, really, really stuck for anything to do.
2.5 out of 10 – Duff, clapped out Blues Brothers inspired wrestling comedy for dorks.
WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?
Stephen Graham: The Irishman, Line of Duty (TV), Hellboy (2019)(voice), Rocketman, The Virtues (TV), Yardie, Funny Cow, Journey’s End, The Man With The Iron Heart, Film Stars Don’t Die In Liverpool, Taboo (TV), Pirates of the Caribbean 5 – Dead Men Tell No Tales, Orthodox, Hyena, Boardwalk Empire (TV), Get Santa, Blood (2013), Best Laid Plans (2012), This Is England 88 (TV), Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Pirates of the Caribbean 4, Texas Killing Fields, The Season Of The Witch, London Boulevard,The Good Night, The Crew, This Is England 86 (TV), Awaydays, Public Enemies, Doghouse, This Is England, The Damned Utd, Inkheart, Goal, Snatch, Coronation Street (TV), Downtime
Dave Johns: Two Graves, Fisherman’s Friends, The Keeper, I Daniel Blake
Julian Sands: The Keeper, Crooked House, All Things To All Men, Suspension of Disbelief, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011), Blood and Bone, Ocean’s Thirteen, 24 (TV), Hotel (2000), Timecode, The Million Dollar Hotel, The Loss Of Sexual Innocence, One Night Stand, Leaving Las Vegas, The Browning Version (1994), Warlock 2, Boxing Helena, A Tale Of a Vampire, The Turn Of The Screw (1992), Naked Lunch, Impromptu, Arachnaphobia, Warlock, Siesta, Gothic, A Room With a View (1985), The Doctor and The Devils, The Killing Fields, Oxford Blues
Jill Halfpenny: Humans (TV), Babylon (TV), Waterloo Road (TV), Eastenders (TV), Coronation Street (TV), Peak Practice (TV), Byker Grove (TV)
Neil Fitzmaurice: Mount Pleasant (TV), The Aliens (TV), Peep Show (TV), Pierrepoint, Festival, Phoenix Nights (TV), Going Off Big Time, Brookside (TV)
Michael Socha: Break Clause, Double Date, Killers Anonymous, Chernobyl (TV), Papillon (2018), The Aliens (TV), This Is England ’90 (TV), Being Human (TV), Svengali,Spike Island, Twenty8K,Shank, This Is England 88 (TV), This Is England 86 (TV), Better Things, Cut, Summer, This Is England
Lindsey Coulson:Funny Cow, Eastenders (TV), Clocking Off (TV),
Sue Johnston: Hold The Sunset (TV), Golden Years, Downton Abbey (TV), Coronation Street (TV), The Royle Family (TV), Waking The Dead (TV), Imagine Me & You, My Uncle Silas (TV), Face, Preaching To The Perverted, Brassed Off, Medics (TV), Brookside (TV)
Hannah Walters:Funny Cow, Pirates of the Caribbean 5 – Dead Men Tell No Tales, Whitechapel (TV), This Is England ’86 (TV)
Christopher Fairbank: Journey To China – The Mystery of Iron Mask, Hatton Garden (TV), The Fight (2019), Taboo (TV), Lady Macbeth, Dickensian (TV), Orthodox, Dragonheart 3, Hercules (2014), Guardians of the Galaxy, Jack The Giant Slayer, Little Deaths, Pirates Of The Caribbean 4- On Stranger Tides, Goal 3, Mindflesh, Goal 2, Goal, Below, The Bunker, The Fifth Element, Alien 3, Batman (1989), Auf Wierdesen Pet! (TV)
Lena Headey: The Dark Crystal (voice)(TV), The Flood (2019), Game Of Thrones (TV), Fighting with My Family, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, The Adventurer – Curse of the Midas Box, 300 2 – Rise of an Empire, The Mortal Instruments, The Purge, Dredd, The Broken (2009), The Brothers Grimm, Imagine Me & You, St. Trinians, 300, The Cave, Ripley’s Game, The Parole Officer, Gossip, Onegin, If Only, Mrs Dalloway, Face, Waterland, The Grotesque, The Jungle Book (1994), Century, The Remains Of The Day
Stephen Tompkinson: Torvil & Dean, Trollied (TV), Hector, A Dark Reflection, DCI Banks (TV), Detective Harrigan, Truckers (TV) Prime Suspect 7 (TV), Hotel Splendide, Drop The Dead Donkey (TV), Brassed Off, All Quiet On The Preston Front (TV), Minder (TV), Chancer (TV)
Cast: Lee Bane, Derek Nelson, Kwame Augustine, Darren Swain, Suzie Frances Garton, Neville Cann, Gareth Lawrence, Francesco Tribuzio, Joseph Simpson-Bushell, David France, Oliver Fritz, Rik Grayson, Dennis Farrin, Lee Mark Jones, Patrick O’Donnell with Jared Morgan and Tim Larkfield
Oof, director/producer Andrew Jones and producer/actor Lee Bane drop a real clanger with this mouldy dud. A tribute to all those occultist-Nazi obsessions this quickie attempts to blend the Dirty Dozen with a z-movie monster flick. It’s a flat experience that rarely comes to life. This time the usually dependable Lee Bane (ROBERT 4) is hamstrung in a ridiculous role as a deep-fried Texan escapee-soldier called Mad Dog Murphy who finds himself up against some hairy lycans in the last 10 minutes of this very slow moving slog of non-horror with atrocious acting.
If you thought that the German accents were bad in Jones/Bane’s The Toymaker – Robert 3 then you will be astonished at how much worse this crop of performers are. It’s not just the fake Germans though, it’s the fake-Americans too! It seems that this time Jones has done some research on WW2 by rewatching Inglourious Basterds – the Tarantino version – again (he remade a scene in the aforemention The Toymaker too!) Here he recreates a different scene for IB with mixed results. Seems all you need to knwo about WW2 is in that film according to Jones. Any attempts at character building and gravitas are rendered null and void by the bad acting, and the really, really bad props and locations. Some of these guys and girls have worked with Jones on his previous films and put in great performances regardless of the film’s overall silliness – and it’s usually the standard of acting that saves his films from being a complete loss. And that’s what this stoooopid fang fest is.
Werewolves don’t turn up until the last ten minutes, it’s almost as if Jones is avoiding featuring any at all. All the scenes are interminably long and drawn out with some actors speaking very slowly – the German Doctor (NEVILLE CANN), Mad Dog (LEE BANE), Fighting Joe (DARREN SQUIRES) and the worst movie Hitler (OLIVER FRITZ) ever seen. What was that actor thinking? The Werewolf make up isn’t that bad – but better than most already seen in low-budget cinema… hmmm, actually come to think of it they were pretty awful – but better than the ones in Strippers vs. Werewolves.
This is borderline Jones/Bane’s worst film to date as it looks like a rush job. For instance, uninterrupted bird song can be heard throughout a dialogue scene which is occurring in a moving truck – those army trucks are loud and where are these birds? Nested in Lee Bane’s hair? A WW2 caravan has a solar panel and double glazing, and double yellow lines can be seen in the POW camp? Hahaha. It’s a shame as Cabin 28 – their most recent film, seemed to be pulling away from this kind of sloppy rubbish but nope this another slide backwards for these talented but challenged gentlemen from South Wales. There seems to be no end to their slate of slack horror films – so wishing for a change of genre seems hopeless. Next up – the fourth installment of Robert The Doll.
Plus points:They’ve got a well-choreographed fight scene – so they’ve got that right this time! And the DVD has a cool hologram effect on it. Cool!
2 out of 10 – Sloppy rush job with bad actors, bad props, shit music, bad sfx and hilariously bad German accented performers. Worth seeing for the terrible Adolf Hitler actor (seen in the trailer)!
Director: Gillies MacKinnon (Castles In The Sky / Pure / Hideous Kinky / Regeneration / Trojan Eddie / Small Faces / The Playboys)
Cast: Gregor Fisher, Eddie Izzard, Naomi Battrick, Kevin Guthrie, Sean Biggerstaff, Ellie Kendrick, Annie Louise Ross, Michael Nardone, Iain Robertson, Anthony Strachan, Brian Pettifer, Fenella Woolgar, Kevin Mains, Ken Drury with James Cosmo, John Sessions and Tim Piggott-Smith
Lightly amusing but very twee and slight is how I’d describe this remake of the Ealing Comedy classic of Whisky Galore. Director Gillies MacKinnon has assembled a veritable ‘who’s who’ of Scottish acting talent from the land of film and TV and given them a very non-taxing job of just hanging around on a remote island waiting for something to happen. Plotless films are okay by me if they happen to have interesting characters but this is just a granny-basher special on auto-pilot. Stealing all the goodies from under the leading actors’ noses is Eddie Izzard (MYSTERY MEN) as an ineffectual military man who’s self-appointed job is to stop the whisky starved natives from raiding a stricken ship (that’s runaground just offshore). He fails and what ensues is a vaguely humourous tale of cat and mouse, as the locals try to outsmart ‘Dad’s Army’ in hiding the whisky. All very well when WW2 is on, people are dying etc. but this lot are pissing about hiding bottles of booze (am I being too serious? Probably).
Various sub-plots clog up the running time, like a mummy’s boy who is in love with the postmaster’s daughter, and a weird government spook who is interested in a non-whisky shaped item about the wreck. Not a lot happens in a Waking Ned-style way, with lots of quaint rural folks wheeling out cliche after cliche shamelessly. This is no Dad’s Army (2016)type debacle, it’s profile is too low but it doesn’t strive to make itself special in any department. Director Gillies MacKinnon once made some very interesting films back in the 1990s like Small Faces and Regeneration but he seems to have found himself in the doldrums as of late, hopefully he’s just biding time until the industry gives hims something cool to do once more. Sad to see the usually funny Gregor Fisher (LOVE ACTUALLY) equally side-lined in the nominal lead with an unsympathetic and boring role. It’s a big shame that this is largely a by-the-numbers cash in with no ideas of its own but it passes the time easily enough without making its mark either as a great film, but neither does it overstay its welcome or bore you to death. Average.
4 out of 10 – Average fun for pensioners and sheltered teenagers.
WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN?
Gregor Fisher: Rab C. Nesbitt (TV), Wild Target (2010), Love Actually, The Baldy Man (TV), Naked Video (TV), 1984
Eddie Izzard: Rock Dog (voice), Victoria and Abdul, Lego Batman (voice), Absolutely Anything, Castles In The Sky, Hannibal (TV), Eddie Izzard: Force Majeure (live), Cars 2 (voice), Valkyrie, Igor (voice), Eddie Izzard – Marathon Man (live), The Chronicles of Narnia – Prince Caspian (voice), Across The Universe, Ocean’s 13, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Romance & Cigarettes, Ocean’s 12, Five Children & It (voice), Revenger’s Tragedy, The Cat’s Meow, Shadow of The Vampire, Circus, Mystery Men, The Avengers (1998), Velvet Goldmine, The Secret Agent
Naomi Battrick: The Titan, A Very British Scandal, Mum’s List, Cherry Tree, Waterloo Road (TV), Down Dog, Blood (2013)
Iain Robertson: River City (TV), Rab C Nesbitt (TV), Basic Instinct 2, One Last Chance, The Match, The Debt Collector, Plunkett & Macleane, Grange Hill (TV), Small Faces
Brian Pettifer: Darkest Hour, The Legend of Barney Thompson, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (TV), Rab C Nesbitt (TV), Lassie (2005), Hamish MacBeth (TV)
Tim Piggott-Smith:Victoria and Abdul, 6 Days, Jupiter Ascending, RED 2, Alice In Wonderland (2011), Flyboys, V For Vendetta, The Remains of the Day, The Jewel In The Crown (TV), Clash of the Titans (1980), Dr Who (TV)
Cast: Ian Ogilvy, Tony Denham, Chris Ellison, Billy Murray, Lysette Anthony, Nicky Henson, Deborah Moore, Julian Glover, Tanya Franks, Sean Cronin, Linal Haft, Keith-Lee Castle, Brian Croucher, Michael Jenn, Damola Onadeko, Cristian Solimeno, Sean Blowers, Sam Rix with Anouska Mond, Vas Blackwood and Patrick Bergin
Ian Ogilvy: We Still Die The Old Way, We Still Kill The Old Way, My Life In Ruins, Puppet Master 5, Death Becomes Her, Return of The Saint (TV), No Sex Please – We’re British, Upstairs Downstairs (TV), Waterloo (TV), Wuthering Heights (1970), The Invincible Six, Witchfinder General, She Beast
Lysette Anthony: We Still Die The Old Way, Mob Handed, We Still Kill The Old Way, Strippers vs. Werewolves, Dracula – Dead and Loving It, Look Who’s Talking Now, Dr Jekyll & Ms Hyde, The Hour Of The Pig, Husbands and Wives, The Pleasure Principle,Three Up Two Down (TV) Krull
Nicky Henson: We Still Die The Old Way, Draw On Sweet Night, Narcopolis, We Still Kill The Old Way, Truth or Dare, Eastenders (TV), Me Without You, Parting Shots, Shine On Harvey Moon (TV), Anyone For Sex?, There’s a Girl In My Soup, The Death Wheelers, All Coppers Are…, Witchfinder General, The Frost Report (TV)
Julian Glover:Nazi Vengeance, Game of Thrones (TV), UFO (2013), Airborne (2012),Shoot On Sight, Troy, King Ralph, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, Cry Freedom, James Bond – For Your Eyes Only, The Empire Strikes Back
Tanya Franks: Aux, Broadchurch (TV), Eastenders (TV), The Bill (TV), Family Affairs (TV)
Brian Croucher: Rise of the Footsoldier 3, Love Me Still, I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead, Eastenders (TV), Rockliffe’s Babies (TV), Transmutations, Scrubbers, Blake’s 7 (TV), Doctor Who (TV), The Jensen Code (TV)
Cristian Solimeno: Hollyoaks (TV), Wycliffe (TV)
Sean Blowers: Vengeance (2017), Tango One, London’s Burning (TV), The Krays, Tank Malling
Patrick Bergin: Cage, Free Fire, Age of Kill, Gallowwalkers, The Wee Man, Highway To Hell (2012), Strength and Honour, Ella Enchanted, Eye Of The Beholder, The Invisible Circus, Lawnmower Man 2, The Map Of The Human Heart, Patriot Games, Love Crimes, Robin Hood (1991), Highway To Hell, Mountains of the Moon
RISE OF THE ZOMBIE HOOLIGAN FILMS 