PLASTIC

by Mark'd Commode

5 out of 10

Release Date: 30th April 2014

Director: Julian Gilbey (The ABCs of Death 2 / A Lonely Place To Die / Rise of the Footsoldier / Rollin’ With The Nines)

Cast: Ed Speleers, Will Poulter, Thomas Kretschmann, Alfie Allen, Emma Rigby, Sebastian De Souza, Graham McTavish, Malese Jow, Mem Ferda, Ashley Chin, Adam Fogerty, Michael Bispig with Terry Stone, Kate Magowan and Robbie Gee

Writer: Julian Gilbey and Will Gilbey

Trailer: PLASTIC

Unknown-3To be proofread: Plastic has no right to be as entertaining as it turned out to be. It’s so gleefully sh*t that it actually ends up being a reasonably fun time passer. A quartet of dicks led by plank Ed Speleers (LOVE BITE) run an organised credit card fraud ring. So like a goofier brother of the White Collar Hooligan franchise, this films hypes up how cool being a fly thief can be. Alas this story only highlights that you don’t need to be all that innovative or brainy to succeed in this game. 

We catch up with Ed Speleers and his bunch of herbs just as they cross and end up in debt to the wrong man, Marcel (THOMAS KRETSCHMANN – AVENGERS ASSEMBLE 2). They go to Miami to mount a diamond heist which was every bit as lame as the one seen in the recent The Love Punch. They’ve also recruited a pretty blonde with gorgeous boobs and massive lips to help (EMMA RIGBY – DEMONS NEVER DIE).  As in all heist crews one of the members is on the make (ALFIE ALLEN – CONFINE) and wants the spoils to himself so there are a few more diversions when the ending comes around. There’s a wonderful shoot out at the end which looks and feels like a mini-riff on the ending of True Romance. Director Julian Gilbey also breaks out his collection of bad wigs last seen to hilarious effect in his brit classic Rise of the Footsoldier – no one would be able to get away with any of the heists concerned with the number of blatant and shit disguises at play in Plastic. Part of the enjoyment is the film’s unwillingness to let a small things like logic or reality trouble it. It’s purely hyperbolic and frivolous.

Genre faves like Robbie Gee (SHANK), Ashley Chin (STARRED UP), Kate Magowan (FALL OF THE ESSEX BOYS) and Terry Stone (GET LUCKY) all have cameos as various cops, marks and fences. The Miami locales give the film the lick of class and swank it needs but like the title everything here is  lightweight, disposable and instantly unmemorable.  It’s lame fun though and it can safely be filed in the same place as Green Street 3, you know, the ‘so crap it’s good’ box. Don’t expect anything more than a low-rent Ocean’s 11 and you’ll be about right. It’s got more ideas up it’s sleeves the really really bad The Love Punch (released recently) – which was probably made for 100 times the money Plastic was made for.

5 out of 10 – Watchable crap. Solid acting and a fast but predictable plot guarantee its credentials for the most part.

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

Leave a comment