Cast: Rose Byrne, Ethan Hawke, Chris O’Dowd, Azhy Robertson, Ayoola Smart, Lily Brazier, Denise Gough, Eleanor Matsuura, Megan Dodds, Thomas Gray, Nina Sosanya, Enzo Cilenti, Matt King, Pamela Lyne and Phil Davis
Writer: Evegenia Peretz, Jim Taylor & Tamara Jenkins / Nick Hornby
Rose Byrne: Peter Rabbit 2, Instant Family, Peter Rabbit, X-Men 6 – Apocalypse, Bad Neighbours 2 – Sorority Rising, Spy (2015), The Turning, Annie (2014), Bad Neighbours, Insidious 2, I Give It a Year, The Internship, The Place Beyond The Pines, X Men- First Class, Bridesmaids, Insidious, Get Him To The Greek, Knowing, 28 Weeks Later, Sunshine (2007), The Dead Girl, Marie Antoinette, Wicker Park, Troy, I Capture The Castle, Star Wars- Attack Of The Clones, Two Hands, Dallas Doll
Ethan Hawke: The Kid (2019), 24 Hours To Live, First Reformed, Maudie, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, The Magnificient Seven (2016), Regression, Born To Be Blue, Maggie’s Plan, Good Kill, Predestination, Boyhood, Getaway, The Purge, Before Midnight, Total Recall (2012), Sinister, The Woman In The Fifth, Daybreakers, Brooklyn’s Finest, New York I Love You, Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead, The Hottest State (dir), Fast Food Nation, Lord of War, Assault on Precinct 13 (2005), Taking Lives, Before Sunset, Training Day, Tape, Waking Life, Hamlet (2000), Snow Falling On Cedars, The Newton Boys, Great Expectations (1998), Gattaca, Before Sunrise, Quiz Show, White Fang 2 – Myth of the Wolf, Reality Bites, Alive, Rich In Love, Waterland, A Midnight Clear, White Fang, Dad, Dead Poet’s Society
Chris O’Dowd: How To Build a Girl, Mary Poppins Returns (voice), Cloverfield 3 – Paradox, Molly’s Game, Loving Vincent (mo-cap), Miss Peregrine’s Home For Unusual Children, The Program, Calvary, The Double (2014), Cuban Fury, Moone Boy (TV), Thor 2 – The Dark World, The IT Crowd (TV), Epic (voice), This Is 40, The Sapphires, Friends With Kids, Bridesmaids, Gulliver’s Travels (2010), Dinner For Schmucks, The Boat That Rocked, Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel, How To Lose Friends and Alienate People, Festival
Lily Brazier: People Just Do Nothing (TV)
Denise Gough: A Dark Place, The Kid Who Would Be King, Colette, Stella (TV), Titanic – Blood & Steel (TV)
Nina Sosanya: W1A (TV), David Brent – Life On The Road, Last Tango In Halifax (TV), Wizards vs. Aliens (TV), Silk (TV), Dr Who (TV), Nathan Barley (TV), Code 46, Teachers (TV)
Cast: Liv Hill, Sinead Matthews, Cyril Nri, Tomos Eames, Henry Lile, Jemima Newman, Helen Kennedy, Connor Mills, Victoria Alcock, Lauran Taylor-Griffin with Frankie Boyle and Angus Barnett
Victoria Alcock: People Just Do Nothing (TV), Eastenders (TV), Bad Girls (TV), The House of Eliott (TV)
Frankie Boyle: Frankie Boyle’s New World Order (live), Have I Got News For You (TV), Live at the Apollo (TV), Mock of the Week (TV), Nevermind the Buzzcocks (TV)
Angus Barnett: The Keeper, Pirates of the Caribbean 5 – Dead Men Tell No Tales, Up All Night – Friday Download,The Wedding Video, Flood, Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 – At World’s End, Pirates Of The Caribbean – The Curse of the Black Pearl
Director: David Kerr (Inside No 9 (TV) / Fresh Meat (TV) / Mitchell and Webb (TV) / Doctors (TV))
Cast: Rowan Atkinson, Ben Miller, Olga Kurylenko, Jake Lacy and Emma Thompson with Matthew Beard, Adam James, Amit Shah, Vicki Pepperdine, Pauline McLynn, Roger Barclay, Jack Fox, Miranda Hennessy, Kevin Eldon with Charles Dance, Edward Fox and Michael Gambon
All the funny gags are in the trailer. There is no reason to go and see Johnny English 3 unless you are oblivious to the fact that Rowan Atkinson’s comic creations are running on empty and have been for over a decade. I wish Atkinson would just retire instead of showing us how lazy, unfunny and depressingly uncreative he has become. I enjoy Johnny English 2 – Reborn which seemed to have some life to it, but this third outing, which seems to be Atkinson’s only worthwhile industry credit in the last 10 years, is really thin, offering zero in the way of innovation or humour.
Again the British film industry misses the point as to what the discerning cinema going public want, and it really isn’t TV spin-offs, romantic granny bashers, WW2 snoozers or ten fucking biopics about Winston Churchill. Neither do we need this mediocre talent flogging a dead horse for the many morons around the country who still think Rowan Atkinson gives an actual fuck if people find what he does or did funny.
I’ve haven’t sat through a big-budget film as soulless and boring as this all year, and I’m sad to say that it’s a British movie. A cast full of heavyweights is wasted, yet none of them look all that embarrassed to be there. It’s probably the heavy pay cheques they are getting. The story line sees Johnny English brought back into the fold when Mi5 is cyber-attacked by a billionaire software guru played by Jake Lacy (CAROL). He reteams with Boff (BEN MILLER – RAZZLE DAZZLE) who was played by Daniel Kaluuya last time??? After some hi-jinx (watch the trailer) he encounters a Russian spy played with elan by Olga Kurylenko (THE WATER DIVINER) and they team up to expose the baddie’s game before he takes over the world. Being strictly analog, English and Boff have the upper hand, or do they?
I’m not joking, all the gags really are in the trailer. The rest of the running time is made up of the lead up to all the set-pieces you see in the promo. It’s the first time I’ve watched a comedy where this has happened. Unless you’ve been lucky enough to avoid it, you won’t laugh. The audience I was with at the cinema barely mustered a chuckle and it was full of kids. Case presented.
1 out 10 – To mangle a quote from an old Blackadder character, “Dear Mr Atkinson, please . ”
WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?
Rowan Atkinson:Johnny English 2 – Reborn, Mr Bean (TV), Keeping Mum, Mr Bean 2, Love Actually, Scooby Doo, Rat Race, Maybe Baby, Mr Bean, The Lion King (voice), Four Weddings and a Funeral, Hot Shots 2, The Witches, Blackadder 1 – 4 (TV), The Tall Guy, James Bond – Never Say Never Again, Not The Nine O’Clock News (TV)
Olga Kurylenko: The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, The Courier, Gun Shy, Death of Stalin, Momentum, The Water Diviner, The November Man, Vampire Academy, Oblivion, Seven Psychopaths, To The Wonder, Centurion, James Bond – Quantum Of Solace, Max Payne, Hitman, Paris Je T’Aime
Jake Lacy: High Fidelity (TV), Rampage, Their Finest, Miss Sloane, Girls (TV), Carol, The Office-US (TV)
Emma Thompson: Cruella, How To Build a Girl, Doctor Dolittle (2020) (voice), Last Christmas, Years and Years (TV), Late Night, Men in Black 4 – International, Missing Link (voice),The Children Act, The Meyerowitz Stories, Alone In Berlin, Beauty & The Beast (2016), Bridget Jones 3 – Bridget Jones’ Baby, Burnt, The Legend of Barney Thompson, A Walk In The Woods, Effie Gray, The Love Punch, Saving Mr Banks, Beautiful Creatures (2013), Brave (voice), Men In Black 3, Harry Potter 8 – The Deathly Hallows 2, Nanny McPhee 2, The Boat That Rocked, An Education, Last Chance Harvey, Brideshead Revisted, I Am Legend, Harry Potter 4 – The Order of the Phoenix, Stranger Than Fiction, Nanny McPhee, Harry Potter 3 – The Prisoner of Azkhaban, Love Actually, Maybe Baby, Primary Colours, The Winter Guest, Sense and Sensibility, Carrington, Junior, My Father The Hero (1994), In The Name of the Father, The Remains of the Day, Much Ado About Nothing (1993), Peter’s Friends, Howard’s End, Dead Again, Impromptu, Henry V, The Tall Guy, Thompson (TV), Fortunes of War (TV), Tutti Frutti (TV), The Young Ones (TV)
Vicki Pepperdine:Eaten by Lions, The Windsors (TV), Goodbye Christopher Robin, A Young Doctor’s Notebook & Other Stories (TV)
Pauline McLynn:Dave Allen at Peace, The Secret Scripture, Noble, Eastenders (TV), Shameless (TV), Heidi (2005), Gypo, Iris, An Everlasting Piece, The Most Fertile Man In Ireland, When Brendan Met Trudy, Quills, Nora, Angela’s Ashes, Father Ted (TV)
Charles Dance: Godzilla 2 – King of the Monsters, Happy New Year Colin Burstead, That Good Night, Underworld 5 – Blood Wars, Despite The Falling Snow, Ghostbusters 3, Me Before You, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, Victor Frankenstein, Child 44, Woman In Gold, The Imitation Game, Dracula Untold, Game Of Thrones (TV), Midnight’s Children, St George’s Day, Underworld 4 – Awakening, Your Highness, Ironclad, Starter For Ten, Gosford Park, Ladies In Lavender (dir), Swimming Pool, Ali G In Da House, Black and White (2002), Hilary & Jackie, Michael Collins, Space Truckers, Exquisite Tenderness, China Moon, Century, The Last Action Hero, Alien 3, Hidden City, The Golden Child, White Mischief, James Bond – For Your Eyes Only
Edward Fox: Taboo (TV), Lassie (2005), Stage Beauty, Nicholas Nickleby (2002), The Importance of Being Earnest (2002), Lost In Space, Prince Valiant, A Month By The Lake, A Feast at Midnight, Robin Hood (1991), Return From The River Kwai, Wild Geese 2, The Shooting Party, The Bounty, The Dresser, James Bond – Never Say Never Again, Gandhi, Nighthawks, Force 10 from Navarone, The Big Sleep, A Bridge Too Far, The Duellists, The Squeeze, Day of the Jackal, The Go-Between
Michael Gambon: Cordelia, Judy, Fortitude (TV), King of Thieves, The Last Witness, Paddington 2 (voice), Victoria and Abdul, Kingsman 2 – The Golden Circle, Mad To Be Normal, Viceroy’s House, Dad’s Army (2016), Paddington (voice), Quartet, The King’s Speech, Harry Potter 8 – The Deathly Hallows 2, Harry Potter 7 – The Deathly Hallows 1, The Book Of Eli, Fantastic Mr Fox (voice), Harry Potter 6 – The Half-Blood Prince, Brideshead Revisited (2008), Harry Potter 5 – The Order of the Phoenix, The Good Night, The Good Shepherd, The Omen (2006), Harry Potter 4 – The Goblet of Fire, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, Layer Cake, Harry Potter 3 – The Prisoner of Azkhaban, Sky Captain and The World Of Tomorrow, Sylvia, Open Range, The Actors, Ali G In Da House, Charlotte Gray, Gosford Park, High Heels and Low Lifes, Sleepy Hollow, The insider, Plunkett & Macleane, Dancing at Lughnasa, The Gambler, Wings Of The Dove, Mary Reilly, The Innocent Sleep, Two Deaths, Nothing Personal, A Man Of No Importance, The Browning Version (1994), Toys, Mobsters, The Cook The Thief His Wife and Her Lover, A Dry White Season, The Rachel Papers, Paris By Night, The Singing Detective (TV)
Director: Nick Hamm (Driven (2019) / Killing Bono / Godsend / The Hole (2001) / Martha Meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence)
Cast: Timothy Spall, Colm Meaney, Freddie Highmore, John Hurt, Toby Stephens, Barry Ward, Catherine McCormack, Mark Lambert with Ian Beattie and Ian McElhinney
Timothy Spall: Stanley – A Man of Variety, Finding Your Feet, Early Man (voice), Electric Dreams (TV), Hatton Garden (TV), The Party,Denial, Alice in Wonderland 2 – Through The Looking Glass (voice), Away, Mr Turner, The Love Punch, The Rise, Love Bite, Comes a Bright Day, Harry Potter 8 – The Deathly Hallows 2, Ginger and Rosa, The King’s Speech, Harry Potter 7 – The Deathly Hallows 1, Wake Wood, Heartless, Reuniting The Rubins, Harry Potter 6 – The Half-Blood Prince, Alice In Wonderland (2011) (voice), Apaloosa, The Damned Utd, Sweeney Todd, Pierrepoint, Harry Potter 5 – The Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter 4 – The Goblet of Fire, Lemony Snickets Series of Unfortunate Events, Harry Potter 3 – The Prisoner of Azkhaban, The Last Samurai, Gettin’ Square, Nicholas Nickleby (2002), All Or Nothing, Vanilla Sky, Rock Star, Lucky Break, Chicken Run (voice), Loves Labours Lost, Topsy Turvy, Still Crazy, Wisdom Of Crocodiles, Hamlet (1996), Secrets & Lies, Life Is Sweet, The Sheltering Sky, White Hunter Black Heart, To Kill a Priest, The Missionary, Auf Wierdesen Pet (TV), Quadrophenia
Colm Meaney: Pele – Birth of a Legend, One Chance, A Belfast Story, Alan Partridge – Alpha Papa, The Hot Potato, The Cold Light Of Day, Bel Ami, Parked, Three and Out, Get Him To The Greek, The Damned Utd, Intermission, This Is My Father, Claire Dolan, Con Air, The Road To Wellville, War Of The Buttons, The Committments, The Snapper, The Van, Star Trek – Deep Space 9 (TV), Under Siege, Into the West, The Last Of The Mohicans (1992), Far and Away, Die Hard 2
Freddie Highmore: Bates Motel (TV), Almost Friends, Justin & The Knights of Valour (voice), The Art of Getting By, AstroBoy (voice), The Spiderwick Chronicles, August Rush, The Golden Compass (voice), Arthur & The Invisibles (TV), A Good Year, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory (2005), Five Children & It, Finding Neverland
John Hurt: Damascus Cover, That Good Night, My Name Is Lenny, Jackie, ChickLit, Snowpiercer, Hercules (2014), Only Lovers Left Alive, Doctor Who – Day of the Doctor, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Immortals (2011), Brighton Rock (2011), Harry Potter 8 – The Deathly Hallows – part 2, Harry Potter 7 – The Deathly Hallows, Melancholia, New York I Love You, 44 Inch Chest, The Limits Of Control, V For Vendetta, Hellboy 2 – The Golden Army, Outlander, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, Harry Potter & The Philosopher’s Stone, Hellboy, Perfume, The Oxford Murders, The Skeleton Key, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, The Proposition, Lost Souls, Contact, Night Train, You’re Dead, All The Little Animals, Love and Death On Long Island, WIld Bill (1995), Dead Man, Rob Roy, Second Best, Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, Monolith, King Ralph, The Field, Scandal, White Mischief, Heaven’s Gate, The Elephant Man, 1984, Watership Down (voice), Midnight Express, Alien, The Naked Civil Servant, 10 Rillington Place, Little Malcolm
Toby Stephens: Hunter Killer, Lost In Space (TV), Black Sails (TV), 13hrs – The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, Believe, The Machine (2014), All Things To All Men, Severance, The Ballad of Mangal Pandey, James Bond- Die Another Day, Possession (2002), Space Cowboys, Onegin, Photographing Fairies, Twelfth Night (1996)
Catherine McCormack: Magic In The Moonlight, The Fold, 28 Weeks Later, Renaissance (voice), The Sound of Thunder, Spy Game, The Tailor of Panama, Born Romantic, The Weight of Water, Shadow of a Vampire, This Year’s Love, Dancing At Lughnasa, The Land Girls, North Star, Braveheart
Mark Lambert: Veronica Guerin, A Prayer For The Dying
Ian McElhinney: Sacrifice, Dave Allen at Peace, Bad Day For The Cut, Star Wars – Rogue One, Ripper Street (TV), Game Of Thrones (TV), Titanic (TV), Borstal Boy, Divorcing Jack, The Boxer, This Is The Sea, Hamlet (1996), The Boy From Mercury, Small Faces, The Playboys, Anne Devlin
Cast: Lee Bane, Lee Mark Jones, Jason Homewood, Derek Nelson, Darren Swain, Megan Lockhurst, David Lyndon, Harry Russell, Richard Dee-Roberts, Clare Carreno, Travis Booth-Millard, James Noir, Sarah John with Nathan Head and Patrick O’Donnell
Let’s get to the nitty gritty of this – it would seem to me, an outsider, that North Bank Entertainment have stopped trying to make decent films. For a long while there were signs of a slow and steady ascent in quality and skill – now it seems that the pinnacle of their capabilities was reached with Cabin 28. Jurassic Predator, for me, is the most interesting in terms of ‘how are they going to pull this one off with their small budgets?’ And also I love ‘men on a mission’ movies. Well unfortunately, they fail in every way, and that’s sad.
OK, so this is only a low-budget cash-in to act as a place warmer for Jurassic World / Predator fans but there’s no excuse for the lack of skill, effort, imagination or film making ineptitude on display here. Even the very talented Lee Bane, who was once the only reason for watching Andrew Jones’ films has stopped trying, instead he’s a ball of weird ticks and odd accents these days – a comedy mockery of his former self. The other actors have been told to deliver all their lines slowly as if to make the slim running time seem feature length. The end credits are as long as the feature too, I really think so. The one good scene in the movie is when one of the dinosaur killing soldier’s Rankin (LEE MARK JONES) is introduced as a mariachi-style rock singer. The singer/actor probably stumped up the money for the scene and now it doubles as a promo for his other talents. Other scenes attempt humour – there’s a half-decent Welsh version/remake of the salary negotiation (with riders) scene from Armageddon. This scene, alone, is the reason this film is getting any points at all. The cast is packed out with familiar faces from the Jones/Bane rep company and most of these are more than capable of providing good performances so it’s weird how ever since The Toymaker – Robert 3, they’ve all just got together to deliver these awful, slow, unscary and boring horror movies.
A dinosaur escapes from a science lab by suddenly taking its manacles off one day. A shadowy government man spends half the running time assembling a rag-tag group of military hitmen ala The Expendables 3 / The Magnificent Seven to stop the beast from reaching the town of Devil’s Creek. Imagine a Welsh version of the Dirty Dozen and then try to talk your brain out of committing suicide. Spliced with badly rendered/low resolution stock footage of explosions and soldiers parachuting into a Panamanian jungle this is a cheapo that makes Extinction – Jurassic Predators and Killer/Saurus look vaguely entertaining which is about the most damning praise I can muster.
A sad show from a bunch of filmmakers that showed that they were in it for the long haul and were intent on improving. Seems they’ve found themselves in a rut and now their film factory is making sawdust sausages instead.
1.5 out of 10 – Sloppy crap with the worst editing, acting, script and SFX I’ve seen in a long time. Come on Mr Bane, Mr Jones – get interested in your wonderful jobs again. Don’t let all the hardwork to date amount to nothing with silly, crap shit like Jurassic Predator. Sorry but this film gave me the hump.
Another review – this one is by Matt Ushersaurusadon
How tall was a Tyrannosaurus rex? I ask that question because nobody who made JURASSIC PREDATOR seems to have troubled their silly little heads over it, and yet, I think it’s a question they should have considered, what with this being a film in which a dinosaur rampages through the wilds of Wales, merrily slaughtering at least half a dozen bad actors. But don’t get too excited, this is micro-budget territory and the beast appears in just two sequences during the film (a wise decision on the film-makers’ part, but not as wise as making a completely different film altogether). One sequence features the creature stomping about the countryside – those who glimpse it are looking at a steep angle, suggesting it’s very tall (though, strangely, they never see it from afar) (and obviously we never see reptile and human in the same shot). The monster’s other appearance is when it tears through the corridors of a government facility which looks like it’s a school/hospital/leisure centre, or some other building with not particularly high ceilings. Maybe it grew? A lot*.
But why is a Jurassic monster marauding through Welsh beauty spots and down civic corridors? Some scientists – led by a Kenneth Branagh lookalike pen-pusher – doing top-level-hush-hush-code-red-priority-one-need-to-know government-type science and they’ve got themselves a dinosaur somehow for some reason. I DON’T KNOW! Most of the build-up was a load of bureaucratic departmental in-fighting about who gets the credit, the bit where they explained why they had a fully-grown dinosaur in their very small headquarters must have passed me by. Anyway, the point is, some squabbling scientists get themselves a dinosaur. Guess what?
It escapes!
Soon the scientists we might have assumed would play a significant part in proceedings have been reduced to nothing more than a string of sausages. So the government get a different Kenneth Branagh lookalike in to clear things up. How does he do this? He hires Lee Bane to sort it.
Lee Bane?
Indeed. Put the clues together. Lee Bane. Dinosaur. Wales.
Yes, it’s another Andrew Jones / North Bank Entertainment extravaganza, but at least it lacks the nasty edge of some of Jones’ other recent films (like the one I haven’t reviewed which is effectively a love story about Joseph Mengele).
This time Bane plays a cool-as-cucumber ex-con / ex-soldier (possibly both) who we meet in one of those extended prologues beloved of these film-makers and which is probably a rip-off / homage to a well-known film I haven’t seen, and which, I confess, contained something which surprised me. Bane wanders into a cafe and intuits that something is awry. Being a tough ex-con/soldier he soon has the situation under control and nobody mentions it again (other than for a thematic pay-off later on).
But Bane is not a man to stand alone. Especially against the might of a Tyrannosaurus rex. So, like Richard Thomas in BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS, Bane sets out to raise an army of (four or five) desperadoes to face the beast.
At this point the film segues into a series of odd vignettes as we see each of Bane’s prospective allies in their own environments. It’s as if Jones has decided to make some short films in different styles to pad out the running time. Jones pays homage to the Confessions films as we see a would-be Casanova in a compromising situation; meanwhile a couple of bare-knuckle fighters have a dull bare-knuckle fight (and if anyone can explain how the audience vanished without trace I’d be grateful). And then there’s the musical interlude in which a would-be Mariachi style singer turns out to be a moderately vicious psychopath and it’s just all too weird to recall. I still can’t work out if he’s meant to be the comedy relief.
Our team finally assembled, they set off to find the creature.
No they don’t. They have a long meeting with the Branaghlike.
Then they set off into the wilderness, and it is here that the film surprised me for a second time. There’s a sequence involving some new characters (most of whom survive for maybe a minute) but it’s an agreeable and rare example of someone at the cheaper end of the film market sending themselves up.
But soon enough normal service is resumed. Megan Lockhurst flees terrified from the dinosaur and runs into the gang who are looking for it. They then accompany her as she makes her escape, i.e. away from the dinosaur they’re looking for. Eventually, despite retreating, our squad of heroes face up to the beast. And within seconds, most of them are sausaged. Surely the local butchers must’ve been delighted when this film was being made. The survivors escape to quite a nice house where they have a drink and chat about the old days and discover that the real monster is someone who looks a bit like Kenneth Branagh…
This is by some distance the least bad Andrew Jones film for ages. This is faint praise, and rightly so. But there are the two surprise moments, at least three characters who can reasonably be regarded as characters (just about), and a sensible – if brief – storyline. True, it’s a pretty terrible storyline, and the speed with which our team is killed off (four I think within five minutes) makes a nonsense of the endless business of putting the team together in the first place. The acting is variable but enthusiastic, though the sooner Lee Bane gets back to actual acting (instead of doing tough guy impersonations) the better. The dinosaur is easily superior to those in the 1973 Doctor Who story Invasion of the Dinosaurs, and let’s be honest, nobody watching this film would actually want to see a convincing creature would they? This is proper Z movie-making: moderately imaginative with a reach far in excess of any reasonable expectation, lots to laugh at, lots to look at in stupefied confusion, short and strangely sincere. But, just to be clear, still quite categorically awful. But I liked it.
* Intensive internet research suggests a Tyrannosurus may have been up to 6m tall. So now I know.
Based on a section of a forgotten novel from 1999 called Go! by Simon Lewis, Jet Trash is a film out of time. As old hat as Human Traffic and less cool, Jet Trash’s cast still bring a lot of energy to a clapped out hipster-caper flick. Drugs, gangsters, hot girls & guys, palm trees, sped-up, slow motion cameras, and happening soundtrack deck this film out to the gunnels yet there’s still nothing new to see here, so this may only draw in Robert Sheehan (FORTITUDE) fans, and he does have a few. Two friends Lee (Sheehan) and Sol (OSY IKHILE – DAPHNE) are hiding out from a British drug lord after they ripped him off. Their game is up when Lee’s old girlfriend Vix (SOFIA BOUTELLA – THE MUMMY) tracks them down. A lot of other things happen but they’re all diversions and meanders that all lead back to the main road. Pretty to look at Jet Trash is a nicely acted diversion that you’ll stuggle to remember after a few hours.
I do remember meeting the author when he was promoting this book via a signing to a bookshop I was an assistant manager at back in 1999 (Orpington). It’s the only event I ever had a hand in organising, that’s why I remember it. I bought some onion bhajis and and few samosas to go with the wine and about seven members of the public turned up. The book came along in the wake of Alex Garland’s The Beach and I only remembered it when this film came on my radar. I wonder if Mr Lewis remembers the event. Probably not, but I do remember him being really friendly. So after all these years it’s interesting to see that somebody else somewhere remembered the book and crafted a film from it.
Nicely, if blandly done, this curry needed more spice, less lime. For fans of Goa, Robert Sheehan and one of the people that were at the Orpington signing event.
4.5 out of 10 – A standard caper flick with a beautiful setting, pretty good actors which is crying out for a touch of originality. Strait-jacketed and old fashioned, this won’t be remembered. Shame.
Cast: Sam Claflin, Asa Butterfield, Paul Bettany, Stephen Graham, Toby Jones, Robert Glenister, Miles Jupp, Rupert Wickham, Andy Gathergood, Theo Barklem-Biggs, Oliver Dimsdale and Tom Sturridge
Sam Clafin: Charlie’s Angels (2019), The Corrupted, Peaky Blinders (TV), Adrift, Journey’s End, My Cousin Rachel, Their Finest, Me Before You, The Huntsman – Winter’s War, Hunger Games – Mocking Jay 2, Love Rosie, Hunger Games- Mockingjay, The Riot Club,The Quiet Ones, Hunger Games – Catch a Fire, Snow White and The Huntsman, Pirates of the Caribbean 4 – On Stranger Tides, United
Asa Butterfield: The Liar, Sex Education (TV), Greed, Slaughterhouse Rulez, The Space Between Us, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, X+Y, 10,000 Saints, Ender’s Game, Hugo, Nanny McPhee, The Boy In Striped Pyjamas
Paul Bettany: Avengers 3 – Infinity War, Star Wars – Solo, Captain America 3 – Civil War, Legend (2015), Avengers 2 – The Age of Ultron, Mortdecai, Transcendence, Blood (2013), Iron Man 3 (voice), Avengers Assemble (voice), Priest (2011), Margin Call, The Tourist, Iron Man 2 (voice), Legion, Creation, The Young Victoria, Inkheart, The Secret Life Of Bees, Iron Man (voice), The Da Vinci Code, Firewall, Master and Commander- Far Side Of The World, Dogville, The Heart Of Me, A Beautiful Mind, A Knight’s Tale, Dead Babies, Gangster No.1, The Land Girls
Toby Jones: The Dark Crystal (voice)(TV), Out of Blue, Christopher Robin (voice), Jurassic World 5 – Fallen Kingdom, Detectorists (TV), Happy End, Atomic Blonde, The Snowman (2017), Wayward Pines (TV), Tale of Tales, Anthropoid, Morgan, Dad’s Army (2016), Alice In Wonderland 2 (voice), The Man Who Knew Infinity, Serena, Hunger Games – Mockingjay 2, By The Gun, Marvellous, Muppets Most Wanted, Captain American 2, My Week With Marilyn, Snow White & The Huntsman, The Berberian Sound Studio, The Hunger Games, Red Lights, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Tintin (voice), Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows- part 1 (voice), Captain America, Your Highness, The Rite, Sex Drugs and Rock N’ Roll, St Trinians 2, Nightwatching, Creation, W., Frost / Nixon, City Of Ember, St Trinians, The Mist, The Painted Veil, Infamous, Mrs Henderson Presents, Finding Neverland, Ladies In Lavender, Harry Potter & The Chambers Of Secrets, Simon Magus
Robert Glenister: Villain, The Aeronauts, Curfew (TV), Cold Feet (TV), Live by Night, Cryptic, Law & Order UK (TV), Hustle (TV), Spooks (TV), Creation, We’ll Take Manhattan, A Touch of Frost (TV), Persuasion, The Secret Rapture, Soldier Soldier (TV), Chancer (TV), Dr Who (TV)
Miles Jupp: The Liar, The Durrell’s In Corfu (TV), Watership Down (voice)(TV), The Man Who Invented Christmas, Howard’s End (TV), ChickLit, 8 out of 10 Cats (TV) (presenter), Mock of the Week (TV), Have I Got News For You (TV), Rev (TV), Balamory (TV)
Remember the Coen Bros film, Barton Fink, when the titular screenwriter is tasked by Hollywood to write a B-movie about a wrestler? “You know, nothing to fruity. It’s a wrestling flick, what do you want, a road map?” Well, Jawbone is about a boxer and pretty much everything you’d expect to see in a boxing flick is present and correct. However, this one has the beating heart of a lion, and boxing scenes quite unlike you’ve seen in anything since Raging Bull. Johnny Harris (FORTITUDE), a good actor who knows his range, plays to his strengths in this self-scripted effort about an alcoholic, Jimmy McCabe, who reconnects with his boxing past when he is made homeless and sees the rocky bottom staring back up at him. He goes back to the gym to find his former trainers Bill (RAY WINSTONE – NIL BY MOUTH) and Eddie (MICHAEL SMILEY – SPACED), where he became an ABA champ at 16. The welcome is frosty but they give him a chance. Elsewhere, he gets himself a make or break fight via promoter and shady old friend, Joe (IAN MCSHANE – THE GOLDEN COMPASS) that could kill him.
On the negative side, it does take a while for this film to shake off the cliches and grab your attention. But in retrospect these scenes do well to build the character of Jimmy, and to show what’s really at stake. We’re aware his demon is the bottle and possibly self-made – there’s no spectres from the past whispering in his ear or goading him ala My Name Is Lenny. The struggle is realistically wrought and played note perfect by Johnny Harris. Elsewhere in the cast, old pros like Ray Winstone and Ian McShane do their thing. Ian McShane is always good and wheels out his ‘flash harry’ schtick. This time the context is right and the one scene that his promoter Joe turns up for is nicely done. He’s essentially the same guy he played in John Wick, or nicer version of his heavy in Sexy Beast. Winstone successfully steals the show, some may say unfairly, with an understated and touching performance. He’s quite wonderful in one of his best roles in years and years, and it’s his character that raises Jawbone out of the ‘just another boxing movie’ crate.
Michael Smiley brings ample support and is amazing as the salty Belfast trainer, who has a few surprises up his sleeve. Thankfully there’s no obligatory, woman or child character to slow the story down. There’s no ex-wife or kids to make amends with, just old friends to haunt. The boxing scenes are technically terrific and even after seeing 100 sports movies, the climatic fight is gripping. The villainy of the opponent (LUKE J I SMITH – THE BROMLEY BOYS) is well evoked in a wordless role. The camera work and sound design is superb. Even the montage scenes work well, and although necessary, they don’t fall into the pop video end like a lot seem to do. Remember the ‘Pushing Back’ song from Green Street 3? This is done by bring up the sounds of the gym, dialogue or street sounds to the fore front, rather than making a corny Survivor wannabe song front and centre. Jawbone’s closest comparison is Darren Aronofsky’s The Wrestler. It’s not quite as good as the latter that’s because its more focussed yet slighter, narrative-wise. But it’s still the best sports movie we can hope for from the UK, when so many try and fail horribly – remember the muddled The Man Inside?
Look out for a Paul Weller song at the end called ‘The Ballad of Jimmy McCabe’. I’m glad the makers didn’t use this over a training montage, as it’s as corny as hell and threatens to undo some of the sterling work that’s gone before. A slight wrinkle, then, yet nothing to worry about. Utterly recommended.
9 out of 10 – If you think sports movies are all the same, you’re right. But if you like them then Jawbone is a superb example that puts 90% of others to shame. Pretty much film perfection
Ray Winstone: Point Break (2015), The Legend of Barney Thompson, The Gunman, Noah, Lords of London, Ashes,The Hot Potato, The Sweeney Movie, Snow White & The Huntsman, Elfie Hopkins, Tracker, Hugo, London Boulevard, Fathers Of Girls, The Devil’s Tomb, Rango (voice), Sex & Drugs & Rock-N-Roll, 44 Inch Chest, Edge Of Darkness, Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skulls, Fool’s Gold, Breaking and Entering, The Departed, Cold Mountain, Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion The Witch & The Wardrobe (voice), The Proposition, King Arthur (2004), Ripley’s Game, The Martins, Last Orders, Sexy Beast, There’s Only One Jimmy Grimble, Nil By Mouth, Love Honour and Obey, Fanny and Elvis, Final Cut, Martha – Meet Daniel Luke and Laurence, Face, Ladybird Ladybird, Tank Malling, Quadrophenia, Scum, Robin Of Sherwood (TV)
Ian McShane: American Gods (TV), John Wick 2, Grimbsy, The Hollow Point, Ray Donovan (TV), John Wick, Hercules (2014), Jack The Giant Slayer, Cuban Fury, Snow White & The Huntsman, Pirates Of The Caribbean 4, 44 Inch Chest, Case 39, Coraline (voice), Death Race (2008), Kung Fu Panda (voice), The Golden Compass (voice), Hot Rod, Shrek 3 (voice), Deadwood (TV), Scoop, Agent Cody Banks, Sexy Beast, Lovejoy (TV), Dallas (TV)
Cast: Emile Hirsch, Craig Roberts, Nia Roberts, Aneirin Hughes, Richard Harrington, Charlotte Randall, Ryan Owen, Matthew Aubrey, Sai Bennett with William Thomas and Mark Lewis Jones
Emile Hirsch: Never Grow Hold, Once Upon a Time In Hollywood, An Evening With Beverly Luff Linn, The Autopsy of Jane Doe, Lone Survivor, Prince Avalanche, Savages (2012), The Darkest Hour, Killer Joe, Taking Woodstock, Milk, Speed Racer, Into The Wild, Alpha Dog, Lords of Dogtown, The Girl Next Door
Aneirin Hughes:Under Milk Wood (2015), Holby City (TV), Eastenders (TV), Judge John Deed (TV), Doctors (TV), Family Affairs (TV)
Richard Harrington:Gwen, Gangs of London (TV), Last Summer, Hinterland (TV), Poldark (TV),Poldark (TV), Wolfblood (TV), Lark Rise To Candelford (TV), Holby Blue (TV), Bleak House (TV), Spooks (TV), House of America
RISE OF THE ZOMBIE HOOLIGAN FILMS 