GANGSTERS GAMBLERS AND GEEZERS

1.5 out of 10

Release Date: 16th January 2017 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Amar Adatia and Peter Peralta

Cast: Amar Adatia, Peter Peralta, Richard Blackwood, Nicola Duffett, Ayden Callaghan, Katarina Gellin, Jessica-Jane Stafford, Stephen Cavanagh, Jake Hendriks, Andrew Harrison aka Tiny Iron, Big Narstie, Kele le Roc, Liz McClarnon, Shizzio, Conan Sweeny, Frankie Fitzgerald, Steve Perry aka Ben Dover, Jodie Marsh with Richie Campbell and Dave Courtney

Writer: Amar Adatia and Peter Peralta

Trailer: GANGSTERS GAMBLERS AND GEEZERS

A lot of heart has gone into the making of this movie, Gangsters Gamblers and Geezers. You get the sense that the young directors/actors really believed they were on to something and that they had a gift for comedy. Sadly, and even though they stuck to the plan and saw this labour of love through to the end, this piss-weak tribute to the American Harold & Kumar movies is as terrible as they come. The thing with comedy is, is that you put more of your ego on the line than you would with a drama piece. It’s a real gift to make someone laugh naturally, but neither Adatia, Peralta or most of their eclectic cast have the right stuff. It’s mostly boring, excruciating, casually racist, sexist, and worst of all, 99 per cent unfunny.

Krish (AMAR ADATIA – DANGEROUS GAME) and Lee (PETER PERALTA – TRIADS YARDIES AND ONION BHAJEES) are so bad at their careers – they are call centre dorks – that they get sacked and decide to get into export-import because nobody really knows what it is. First they try to be chicken delivery men, then sex escorts, but somehow draw the attention of London’s hardest gangsters, MI-5, Al-Qaeda, and some Irish gypsies. It all culminates with them being accused of being Europe’s most dangerous men.Europe’s unfunniest men maybe, but most dangerous. So the film finally ends up with a car chase around a learner driving acre where the footage has been sped up  Benny Hill style…

Dave Courtney (FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST) does his usual schtick as the lead heavy in the movie. Richard Blackwood (ANGEL) plays an African landlord with a Jamaican accent. His two oppos are indecipherable too and baffle more than entertain. It’s a shame because these guys have been working on this film, initially titled Krish and Lee for about 5 years and the results of their hard work are just terrible. Good points go to Tiny Iron’s pimp, who rose a few smiles, and a scene about being able to tell the weight of fried chicken by lifting a carrier bag is good fun, thanks to rapper Shizzio and some pals. Mostly it’s amateur half-hour best avoided unless comedy is a new concept to you.

1.5 out of 10 – Gimps, Gobshites and Wannabes. This is limp.

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THOSE ACTORS IN BEFORE?

• Amar Adatia: RIA – Reality Interface Android, The Seven, Dead Ringer, Retribution, Dangerous Game, Four Hours
• Peter Peralta: Four Hours, Cash and Curry, Triads Yardies and Onion Bhajees
• Richard Blackwood: Deus, Hollyoaks (TV), Eastenders (TV), Welcome to Curiosity, Angel (2015), The Guvnors, Outside Bet, Anuvahood, The Richard Blackwood Show (TV)
• Nicola Duffett: My Name Is Lenny, Family Affairs (TV), Shooting Fish, Eastenders (TV), Mad Dogs and Englishmen, Howard’s End
• Ayden Callaghan: Hollyoaks (TV), Emmerdale (TV)
• Katarina Gellin: Hard Tide, Hackney’s Finest
• Jessica-Jane Stafford: Vengeance 2, Cannibals and Carpet Fitters, Dragon Kingdom – Order of Kings 2, Dead Ringer, Redwood, Dangerous Game, Devil’s Tower
• Jake Hendriks: Hollyoaks (TV)
• Shizzio: RIA – Reality Interface Android, The Seven, Dead Ringer, Dangerous Game
• Andrew Harrison aka Tiny Iron: Dangerous Game
• Big Narstie: The Big Narstie Show (TV)
• Frankie Fitzgerald: Stormhouse, Eastenders (TV)
• Jodie Marsh: Jodie Marsh Is…(TV), Lemon La Vida Loca (TV)
• Richie Campbell: Blue Story, Tango One, The Intent, Anti-Social, Montana, Get Lucky, Fast Girls, Victim, Sket, Anuvahood, Wilderness
• Dave Courtney: The Seven, Mob Handed, Looters Tooters and Sawn Off Shooters, Full English Breakfast, The Estate Film, Six Bend Trap, Killer Bitch, Triads Yardies and Onion Bhajees, The Baby Juice Express, Hell To Pay